Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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