so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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