Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
