'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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