I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
