I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
