Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
