This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
