that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
