is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
