It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you made out with another girl for some wings
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
