so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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