yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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