Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
