One girl and one boy is just not enough.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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