I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
