Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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