Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
