I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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