This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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