one might say we're banned from that church
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
