why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
