hotel room ftw
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
