dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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