I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
false alarm, still single
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize