Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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