Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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