Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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