Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
