Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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