OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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