Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
