You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
