I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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