At least make sure they are 18
Why
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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