Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize