I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
