the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
