Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
