Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
