yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
