Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
