I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we're making bets on your personal life
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize