im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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