Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
