you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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