it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
