I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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