I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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