David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
