Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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