fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
