dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
