I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Semen is not good for contacts.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
