I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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