Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
