Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
