oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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