I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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