i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
