hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
