Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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