I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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