why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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