If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
