i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
