I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
