I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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