ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
two words...techno handjob
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
