sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
