Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
