I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize