idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
