absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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