We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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