She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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