a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i need some magic done to my vagina
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
