shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
