He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
