Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
